Diwali a Celebration of Lights, Crackers, an Occasion where we all want to stay with our family and friends. We celebrate this because we feel that, the same day Lord Rama had come to Ayodhya from his 14 years of Vaanwass. This Diwali was something else for me. This was not just an Occasion but a day where I figure out myself.
As I have mentioned in earlier blogs, I am working with FES in Godhra, Gujurat. Actually I am staying in a Village called Ukhreli in Santrampur. You people might have heard of Santrampur, This place was quite popular during the Communal Riot or so called Godhra Knad. I better not talk on those issues here.
Early Morning I got a call from my Mother saying that get up beta today is Diwali finish your household work and go to the Temple. that next moment I realized about Diwali and found a certain excitement within me. I got up and completed all the work and went outside for Temple. Searched half an hour but could not get any temple in the village. I was bit dishearten, because I am not a hardcore devote so I could manage with that. I saw my wrist watch it was 1.30 of the afternoon. I was empty stomach by the time, I searched for food and I was fortunate enough to get two Kochories in the small market of my village. I came back to my room And I went for a nap.
Suddenly I heard some noise outside, and it was crackers. Without waiting for second thought, I got up from my bed and went outside. I saw children were playing and making an innocent approach towards the occasion. I was really happy I went to them played with them but soon after electricity went off. Everybody went inside as so did I. I was sitting alone in a dark room, I checked the time it was 8.30 pm. I had to cook my food, I saw only two potatoes and one brinjal left for me. I started preparing my food. Suddenly I got my finger bled. With no time I found blood everywhere. I was over loaded with emotions, I was frustrate and I cried after a long time. People say man never cries that day I was convinced it’s a fake mindset but not a biological aspect. With no idea, I called my mother and cried. I explained her about my Diwali celebrations. She asked me to come back, but suddenly I heard a male voice and he was my father. he asked me a question saying that today your mother is here that's why you called her up and cried, what if she wouldn't be there for you Tomorrow, learn to live by your own beta otherwise this world would be a horrible place for you to survive.
That conversations really made me feel different, my father never speaks the way he spoke that day. I tied cotton on my finger and started preparing my food. It was really difficult for me because the moment I tried to cut the vegetables, I got a hard pain and bleeding too.
I complete my cooking by 12.40 am and ate it around 1 am.
I started thinking about the ICICI Fellows Assessment day where I was being asked a question "Have you ever been forced to cross your limits" As a Response I had given the answer, that I always push myself up and increase the limits as per the need. Though I didn't know how true I was or I was just pretending something. I don't know why human minds such fast, with span of second I was really thinking so many things honestly speaking I never ever thought on these aspects but I was thinking. Suddenly heard my inner voice saying, you were not pretending Sagar and please go to sleep now its 3.20 am.
I smiled and switched off my room lights.... :)
